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Jack Hackett
"DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" - Father Jack's catchphrase. "How did that gobshite get on the television?!" Father Jack Hackett is a fictional character in the Irish sitcom Father Ted. Father Jack is played by Irish actor Frank Kelly. He is one of the main protagonists and sometimes mild antagonist of the series. Father Jack is a rude, alcoholic, lecherous, brain damaged, foul-mouthed, ill-tempered and violent priest, who frequently lapses into aggressive behaviour, especially when his fellow clergy deny him alcohol (which he refers to as "drink"). Jack rarely speaks in a coherent manner (possibly a result of his constant drunkeness) and often shouts out a series of random words: "Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!" ''He was sent to the Craggy Island parochial house after a disastrous wedding in Athlone of which he has fond memories. Jack spends most of the day sitting in an old armchair in the parish house sitting room. He is often found drinking, sleeping, shouting out profane obscenities or acting rudely to other people in the room. Father Ted Crilly, Father Dougal Mcguire and Mrs. Doyle are shown to be generally tolerant of his drunken antics. Graham Linehan, one of the creators of ''Father Ted has stated that Father Jack is the grandfatherly element of the show. Despite being one of the main characters, Jack generally displayed a more antagonistic role than Ted and Dougal. Jack's drinking is not limited to alcohol, as he will drink any type of liquid he can get his hands on (minus water which he despises), this has brought him trouble many times. Twice, Jack has drunk ''Toilet Duck ''which has made him hallucinate, seeing pink elephants and the people around him as bizzare oddities. Jack also drank floor polish that slowed down his metabolism, convincing everyone he was dead. It was a couple of days before the effects wore off him. Jack has also had trouble from drinking Windolene at some point. One year, Ted tried to make Jack give up alcohol for Lent. After a day and a half without drinking, the effects of his alcoholism wore off him. However, when Mrs. Doyle returned from her Lenten pilgrimage, she found Jack sucking through tubes connected to bottles of wine hanging from the celing. Jack is constantly inebriated and is often completly oblivious to the people and situations around him, unless they interfere with his daily routine of drunkeness and sleeping. Despite his drunkeness, Jack is shown to have carried out careful plans such as hitting Ted with a car and placing a spider in his mouth, and had sense enough to escape a bad situation when the other priests were debating about it. As well as being alcoholic, Jack also has poor personal hygiene, shown with a ring of scabs around his mouth, unkept hair, stains down his clerical collar and smock and decaying teeth. Ted once panicked because he believed it was the time of year for Jack's bath. Jack also has a variety of foul smelling odours such as vegetables and also fur, which made him a magnet for hundreds of rabbits. When Mrs. Doyle cuts Jack's nails she wears a helmet, as does everyone else in the room. When Jack was provoked by Father Jessup he locked him in his underpants hamper, where he was tormented by the smell. Jack sometimes sleepwalks naked which has constantly attracted the unwanted attention of Bishop Brennan. Jack also seems to suffer from blindness in his left eye, due to it's milky white appearence. Jack's overall appearence and hygiene generally got worse as the series went on. The other residents of the parochial house (Father Ted, Father Dougal and Mrs. Doyle) are all used to Father Jack. Dougal continuously brings Jack outside. Although Jack has to be put in a wheelchair as he is impossible to convince to leave his armchair. Mrs. Doyle treats Jack with affection despite his rudeness and even brings him tea, even though he hates it. However, Jack can sometimes be too much. Ted cheered when he learned that Jack would have to be sent to St. Clabberts Old Priests' Home. Also, Ted and Dougal purposely went out to buy lots of floorpolish, hoping that Jack would find and drink them and die, knowing they would inherited £250,000 each from his will. Jack is often extremely aggressive and violent, frequantly lashing out at Ted and (occasionally) Dougal, with Ted being the most subjected to his drunken violence aswell as other characters. Jack's violent behavior and horrid attitude, may be caused from his constant alcohol consumption, though it was shown in several flashbacks that Jack was already quite aggressive when sobor. Jack's alcoholism may also cause him to suffer from diplopia (double vision). Jack's heavy alcoholism also seems to be severley damaging his health, and he may eventually sucumb to alcohol poisoning. Jack also is prone to deafness (due to a occasional build up of wax in his ears), however it may simply be him not bothering to listen. Jack's constant craving for alcohol may indicate he may suffer from Dispomania (an intesnse craving for alcohol). Jack generally spends most of his time sitting, sleeping or passed out in his armchair, though he does occasionally venture from it. It is indicated in the episode "Cigerettes And Alcohol And Rollerblading, that Jack's Alcoholism may stem from his banishment to Craggy Island. Category:Males Category:Priests Category:Characters Category:1929 births Category:1995 introduces Category:Possibly deceased indiviuals Category:Protagonists Category:Characters seen naked